My Perfect Fiance (Perfect Guy Book 2) Page 6

  “You’re so sexy,” he breathes in my ear. “I can’t wait to get you alone.

  He’s reading my mind. “Me too…” Except: “I have something really unsexy to tell you,” I whisper in his ear.

  “Uh… okay.”

  “We need to stop off to get groceries. We’re running out of milk and cereal. And Flintstone multivitamins.”

  He grins at me as he pulls away. “Wow, that was really unsexy.”

  “Sorry. That’s what you get for getting engaged to a boring lady with a kid who eats a lot of cereal.”

  “That’s okay.” He takes my hand in his. “I’m boring too. And soon enough, we’re going to have a lot more kids devouring massive quantities of cereal and milk.”

  We’re going to… what?

  Noah holds my hand as we walk down to retrieve his Toyota, but my head is spinning. A lot more kids. Yes, I always knew Noah wanted kids. More than one. When we were in college, he sometimes talked in abstract terms about having a “big family.” He was an only child, so that was something that was important to him. And back when it seemed like something far, far away, I was happy to go along with it. Big family? Sounds great!

  Except I’m thirty-three now. If he wants to have kids, we’d have to start pretty soon. And it’s not that I don’t want to have more kids, because I definitely do. But now that I’ve had a child, I know exactly how much work it is. And it’s a lot. Babies especially are so much work. You wouldn’t think they would be because they’re so tiny, yet they are. They’re these tiny little bundles of endless work.

  As I buckle myself into the 4Runner, I get a flashback. Three in the morning. I wake up in a cold sweat to infant Lily screaming her head off. I lie there, desperate to stay in my warm bed but knowing the crying won’t stop. I roll my head to the left and Theo’s side of the bed is empty—as usual.

  I put on my fuzzy slippers and pad out to the living room. And there’s Theo. Watching TV on our couch, drinking a beer, while Lily screams her head off in the bassinet six feet away from him.

  Why are you just sitting there, Theo? She’s crying! Why don’t you pick her up???

  She wants you.

  I wish I could say that was a one-time occurrence, but it happened more than I’d like to admit. Constantly, actually. Theo was incapable of changing diapers, bathing Lily, or getting up from the bed when she was crying. Many nights he didn’t bother to come home. We fought a lot over it, and sometimes it got really mean. I told you to get an abortion, Bailey. This is your responsibility.

  That is something Lily can never know. That her dad pushed me to get rid of her.

  I liked Theo a lot before we had a baby together, but everything changed after Lily came along. True, it wasn’t a planned pregnancy. But I was still surprised at how much it damaged our relationship. I would have told him to get lost, but I was desperately afraid of being all alone with a tiny baby. As useless as Theo was, he was better than nothing.

  Well, sometimes.

  Noah starts up the 4Runner, whistling to himself. He’s been having a lot of pain lately in his legs, but today seems like a good day for him. He’s happy. In so many ways, he’s completely different than Theo. But will he change if we have children?

  “Noah,” I say.

  He glances at me briefly, smiles, and puts the car in reverse. “What’s up?”

  “How many kids do you want?”

  He’s quiet for a moment as he pulls out of the parking lot. “Um… three?”

  “Three?” I repeat. “Three, including Lily? Or three more?”

  “Three more?” He glances at my face again, then quickly says, “Or three including Lily?”

  Shit. He wants three more kids. I can see it all over his face.

  “Well,” he says quietly, “you knew I wanted a big family, right? And when we used to talk about it in college, you always said you did too. I guess… I assumed you still felt the same way. You always said how hard it was for you with your mom… you know, being the only child…”

  “Right, but…” I play with a loose thread on my blouse. “Kids are a lot of work.”

  “I know. I’m right here with you with Lily, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah, but…” He doesn’t get it. He has no clue. “Babies are a lot of work. I mean, if you think Lily is hard, babies are much, much harder.”

  He laughs. “You think I don’t know babies are a lot of work? I’m aware how much work it is.”

  I don’t know what more to say. I stare at the window, imagining a big pile of smelly diapers. Oh my God, if we have three more kids, how many diapers will I be changing in the next several years? Three kids times six diapers a day times three years…

  “I’m not going to hang you out to dry like Theo did.” His voice gets low and serious. “I’m going to be right there with you, all the way. Feeding them, changing diapers, putting them to sleep, staying up with them when they’re sick… mopping up the vomit, if need be.” He smiles crookedly. “I know it’s going to be exhausting sometimes, but it will also be fun. Because we’ll be doing it together. You and me.”

  I swallow. “Theo said he would help too.”

  “Right. But you can actually believe me.” He slows to a stop at a red. He takes the opportunity to look at me head-on. “Bailey, I love you, and I really want to have kids with you. I hope you feel the same way, but we don’t have to figure it out right now.”

  I look into his blue eyes. He means what he’s saying. He’s going to do everything he’s promising. He’s going to be right there with me the whole journey.

  And that will be amazing.

  “Well,” I say thoughtfully, “how about if we start with one and see how it goes?”

  His lips curl into a smile. “Yeah?”

  I nod. “I know you’ll be an awesome dad. You’re so great with Lily. Honesty, you’re making me look bad.”

  “Well, good.” He’s full-on grinning now. “And hey, if the kid is a little monster, maybe we’ll only have two.”

  I laugh, amazed at how the panic I was feeling minutes earlier has subsided. If anyone deserves a big family, it’s this guy. The thought of having his baby suddenly seems more exciting than scary. I can imagine how thrilled he’ll be when I tell him.

  As soon as we get hitched, I’m stopping my birth control.

  Chapter 12: Noah

  As much as I enjoy spending time with Bailey and Lily as a family, it’s nice when Theo takes Lily for the night and we can have the place to ourselves. When Lily’s not around, Bailey will walk around in a bra and panties. And she gets really loud when she knows Lily isn’t in the next bedroom—it’s so hot.

  Theo has the afternoon off today, so he’s taking Lily for the day and then keeping her overnight. I volunteered to drive Lily to his apartment from school. Not my favorite activity, but Bailey has to work late again today so I told her I’d take care of it.

  The whole thing is backwards, of course, because if Theo has the afternoon off, why the hell can’t he pick her up at school? Apparently, the answer is Theo is not allowed to pick Lily up at school. There were multiple incidents last year where he no-showed and it was a big mess, so even though it’s a new school, Bailey doesn’t trust him to show up. Neither do I, honestly. I’d worry about Lily if he were the only thing keeping her from standing out in front of the school all alone.

  Sure enough, we’ve been sitting on the steps of the brownstone where Theo rents a studio upstairs for twenty minutes and there’s no sign of the guy. I’m getting pissed.

  I don’t have Theo’s number. If I did, I would be texting him, WTF? Instead, I text it to Bailey.

  Her response comes a few minutes later: He says he’s running late. He’ll be there at four.

  Four???????

  It’s a quarter past three right now. Fortunately (or wisely), I wasn’t counting on Theo to show up on time, but I still don’t want to sit here for the next hour. (I’m assuming Theo will be later than his estimate.) Also, Lily is getting antsy.

>   Bailey writes back: There’s a playground a few blocks away. Lily knows where it is.

  She doesn’t say the obvious, which is that she’s undoubtedly had to take Lily to that playground many times while waiting for Theo.

  “Hey, Lil,” I say. “Want to go to the playground while we’re waiting for your dad?”

  “Yeah!” She leaps off the steps of the brownstone, full of energy, and is immediately racing down the block.

  “Hey, wait…” I’m not quick at getting up. “Lily, wait for me, okay?”

  I’m sure Theo would think nothing of letting her run down the block, but I don’t. If she’s my responsibility, I’m her shadow.

  Lily obediently slows down so I can catch up. Once I’m on the street, I can see the playground Bailey must have been talking about. It’s about two blocks down. The sad part is I’m considering taking the car. For two blocks. But to be fair, it’s not just two blocks. I’ll have to walk back too, so that’s four blocks total.

  Shit, I need to see a doctor.

  “Hang on, Lily,” I say. I limp over to my car and pop the trunk. I won’t drive the two blocks, but I’m going to at least grab my cane. I can lean on it to take some of the pressure off my right leg. I pull out the cane, cursing at myself for caring enough what Theo thought that I didn’t just use my goddamn wheelchair. “All right. Let’s go.”

  The park ends up being nearly three blocks away, so I’m glad I have my cane. When we get there, Lily bounds through the gate, thrilled to have the opportunity to burn off some of that excess energy. I’m just relieved there’s a free bench where I can sit. I wish we had time to read today. She’s actually been making good progress.

  Within five minutes of entering the park, Lily has already befriended another little girl around her age. An attractive woman around my age settles down next to me on the bench, sitting a little too close considering the bench is fairly long. I keep my eyes on the playground, not even glancing in her direction. I don’t feel like a conversation right now.

  “Is that your daughter with the red hair?” the woman asks.

  “Stepdaughter,” I say. Not really the truth, but it will be soon enough.

  “Oh, aren’t you nice,” the woman says. Am I? Why? “That’s my daughter Lexi she’s playing with.” A pause when I don’t respond. “I’m Trish, by the way.”

  It would be rude if I didn’t tell her my name. “Noah,” I mumble.

  “Are you a doctor?” she asks.

  Oh, the scrubs. I never changed out of them after my shift ended because I had to go straight to the school from the hospital. Although the truth is, scrubs are my favorite kind of clothing. I’d wear them all the time if it were socially acceptable.

  “Yeah,” I say.

  “Wow, that’s so wonderful,” she coos, scooting closer to me on the bench. “I actually thought about nursing school. I still think about it. What do you think—is it a good career for a mother?”

  I end up spending the next hour giving career advice to this woman, while she inches ever closer to me on the bench. At one point, I’m certain her daughter is about to take a nosedive off the monkey bars, but when I point it out to her, she shrugs—and it looks like she’s right because Lexi ends up being okay. I might be overprotective, partially because I don’t have experience with being a parent and partially because I see so much shit in the ER.

  I would have been more sociable if the woman weren’t so blatantly coming on to me, and also if I weren’t so pissed off at Theo. Lily likes the playground, but it’s not like she’s forgotten he’s coming. Every fifteen minutes, she comes over to me and says, “Is Daddy here yet?” (Even though he’s very obviously not here.)

  I want to ask her why she even cares. When he’s with her, they never do anything fun together—he’s not exactly an attentive dad. But at the same time, I get it. I felt the same way at her age. When I was eight, my Little League team made the championship, and my father told me he was going to show up to watch the game. My mom was there, cheering for me right in front with all her might, but all I just kept looking at the bleachers, wondering where my dad was. And even though we won the game, I didn’t go to the pizza party after because I was too sad over my father not coming.

  Twenty-five years later, I don’t even know why I wanted him there so badly. But I did. Kids are dumb.

  By the time Theo shows up, I’m ready to punch him in the face. I see him approaching and mutter to Trish, “I have to go.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad!” she gushes. “The kids are having so much fun.”

  “Yeah, well.”

  Her face brightens. “You know what? We should have a playdate!” She whips her phone out of her purse. “Let me get your number.”

  I don’t answer her. Instead, I grab my cane to help me stand up. Trish looks surprised by that one, but it doesn’t wipe the expectant smile off her face. She doesn’t put away her cell phone.

  “Daddy!” Lily shrieks when she sees him.

  She races across the playground and flings herself at him. Theo smiles indulgently, allowing her to hug him for about ten seconds before peeling her off him. My hand tightens around the handle of my cane.

  “Thanks, Noah.” He waves at me. “You can go now.”

  I take a deep breath, knowing this isn’t the time or place to lose my temper. But it’s hard not to say anything. He’s over an hour late. I’ve been waiting for him. Lily has been waiting for him. Does he think we have nothing better to do?

  What’s worse, he comes over and gives an appraising look at my bench-buddy, Trish. On her part, Trish slides back down the bench, averting her eyes.

  “I told you, you can take off,” Theo says to me. “You can go home and… fuck my wife. Or whatever you guys have planned for tonight.”

  And now Trish has suddenly gotten very busy on her phone.

  Then Theo adds, “Thanks for babysitting.”

  My face burns. I wasn’t going to say anything, but I have to. For Lily’s sake. I’m not going to punch him, but I’m sure as hell going to say my piece.

  “Listen to me, Theo,” I say. “I don’t give a shit what you think or say about me. But your behavior around Lily is unacceptable.” I take a step closer to him, and even though I’m leaning on my cane, he takes a step back. “She was waiting for you. For over an hour.”

  He nods at the playground. “Looks like she found something to do.”

  “Right, but that doesn’t mean she forgot you were coming.”

  He shrugs. “So I was a little late. Big deal.”

  “It is a big deal,” I say. “She’ll forgive you now because she’s seven years old. But there’s going to be a time when she won’t forgive you anymore. One day in the future, she’ll realize her dad is an irresponsible loser.” I think of my mother’s phone call: Your father had a heart attack. “And when that day comes, you can say goodbye to your daughter.”

  He snorts. “Whatever you say, Walsh. You’re just jealous.”

  “Believe what you want.”

  I shake my head at him, then take off in the direction of my car, going as fast as my throbbing right limb will allow me. As I walk away, I hear him comment to Trish, “Can you believe the nerve of that guy?” I don’t hear Trish’s response, but when I turn back, she isn’t sitting on the bench anymore.

  Chapter 13: Bailey

  Theo has Lily for the night, but instead of racing home together, Noah and I are going to the grocery store again.

  I know the height of romance isn’t trips to the grocery store, but you know what? Sometimes it is. When you’re dating random guys, you always feel like you have to be the best version of yourself and constantly having fun. You really know you’ve found someone special when you can go to the grocery store together.

  “Just a few things,” I promise him as he pulls into the handicapped parking spot near the entrance and throws the car in park.

  “It’s okay.” He runs a hand along my thigh. “I can wait. A little.”

  �
�And I need to hit the pharmacy for my birth control.”

  “Okay.”

  “Unless…” I arch an eyebrow at him. “You want me to skip it?”

  His blue eyes widen as he realizes what I’m saying. His brow furrows—he’s considering it. “No,” he finally says. “If we have a baby, we’ll never get the place to ourselves like this anymore. Let’s wait.”

  “Plus it’s tacky to be knocked up at your wedding,” I add.

  He grins at me. “We haven’t really talked about the whole wedding thing yet, have we?”

  “No, we haven’t.” I unhook my seatbelt so he can put his arm around me. “When are you thinking you want to do it?”

  “I’m thinking… soon as possible.”

  “Big or small?”

  “Small. Just us, our parents, and Lily.”

  I smile. “I love it.”

  Soon as possible. Noah and I could be married by next weekend, if we wanted. Well, probably not if we want our parents to be there. And I want to get a nice dress. Theo and I got married at City Hall, and I wore the only dress in my closet that still fit me with my bulging stomach. It was brown.

  “How about in July?” he says. “That way we could do it on a weekday without having to worry about pulling Lily out of school.”

  I love how he always considers my daughter. For the millionth time, I am filled with frustration that Noah isn’t Lily’s father. I made a huge mistake a decade ago, and that’s the consequence. Of course, arguably I wouldn’t have Lily at all if I hadn’t made that mistake, but somehow I believe that Lily would still exist, exactly as she is, but Noah would be her dad instead of Theo.

  “That sounds perfect,” I say.

  We make out in the car for a few minutes, because honestly, we can’t keep our hands off each other most of the time. But the sooner we get this shopping done with, the sooner we’ll be back to our empty apartment, where we can have sex anywhere we want. If want to do it on the kitchen counter, we can. The idea of it makes me think we should wait at least a year before trying for a baby.

  When Noah gets out of the car, I notice how badly he’s limping. The last time we stopped for groceries, I just ran in and he stayed in the car. He told me his right leg was bothering him, but it’s even worse than I thought.