The Girl I Didn't Marry Page 3

  “I didn’t have a fucking knife, okay?” Tony growls. “Those guys just got it out for me.”

  “Maybe you should quit selling them oregano.”

  “Shut up.” He snorts. “Anyway, I don’t need a knife. You think I can’t kick some scrawny loser’s ass without a weapon?”

  He’s right. Tony is the best fighter in the neighborhood. I should know—I was his punching bag when we were growing up. My parents used to tell him to stop sometimes, but we were about the same size so they mostly let us go at it. I had to learn to fight too just to keep from getting my ass handed to me on a daily basis. I never been in a real fight, but if I was, I could hold my own thanks to my brother.

  Tony bites his lip, looking down at the cop. “I can’t get out through my window anymore. Ma had them cut down the tree I used to climb down.”

  “The garage is right below my window,” I say. “It’s six feet from the ground… seven feet—tops.”

  Tony grins at me. “You just saved my ass, Nico.”

  My brother disappears into my bedroom to make his escape. I don’t know why he’s bothering—it’s not like the cops won’t catch up with him anyway. But this is what he’s been doing long as I can remember. I’m not gonna stop him.

  “Nicolas!” I hear Pop yell from downstairs. “What are you doing out of your room? Go back to sleep!”

  I obligingly go back to my bedroom. The window is still wide open from Tony making his escape—I look outside and see him racing down the block. I’m not even sure he brought his wallet with him. He’s lucky he’s got his sneakers.

  I know the drill. He’ll spend the night at one of his buddies’ houses, but then after tonight, their parents will kick him out. He might squeeze out an extra night or two, but then he’ll get tired of it and come back home. Pop will march him to the police station, where he’ll turn himself in, and he’ll sit in a cell until Pop thinks he learned his lesson. Then all the charges against Antonio Moretti will magically disappear.

  “Tony!” I hear my father yelling. “Tony! There’s an officer here to talk to you!” Then, in a lower voice, “I’m so sorry about this. I was sure he was in his room…”

  Whatever else you can say about life with my brother, it’s never boring.

  Chapter 5

  Jessie

  “I heard Tony Moretti got arrested last night.”

  Chrissy is the biggest gossip in high school. Maybe the biggest gossip in all of Bensonhurst. But definitely the high school. I don’t know how she hears this stuff. It’s probably something like Tony’s friend told his girlfriend who told someone in gym class who told her friend on the lunch line and Chrissy overheard it when she was waiting for her burger and fries five minutes ago.

  “What did he get arrested for?” I ask. It definitely wouldn’t be Tony’s first time being arrested.

  “Dunno.” Chrissy grins at me. “Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

  I curse the way I know my cheeks are turning red. One year ago, Nick Moretti told me he’d walk me home until I knew the way. It turned into him walking me home every day for the rest of the year. Now we’re two months into sophomore year of high school, and Nick is still walking me home every day.

  Also, I know that Nick has not dated any other girls during this time, and neither have I—not that anyone’s been asking. He didn’t go to the Middle School Fling and neither did I. There was one point where I was excited he might ask me, but he didn’t.

  Lately though, like since sophomore year started, Nick has been holding my hand when he walks me home. He doesn’t make a big deal over it, but once we get about a block away from the school, he reaches over and takes my hand. The first time he did it, he only held my hand for about two blocks, and by the time he let go, my palm was embarrassingly drenched in sweat. I figured he would never want to hold my hand ever again after that and I wouldn’t have blamed him, but the very next day, he held my hand again. And now we hold hands nearly all the way home.

  But about a block away from my home, he always lets go. And for that, I’m grateful. My father has heard the totally untrue and unfair rumors about the Moretti family, and he’s not thrilled that I’m friends with Nick. No matter how many times I tell him that Nick’s nothing like his brother.

  Anyway, aside from the hand-holding, nothing is going on between the two of us. He hasn’t kissed me. He hasn’t even tried, much to my continued disappointment. Chrissy has already had two boyfriends, and her last one got to second base. Although I can’t say I know what second base is, and I was too embarrassed to ask.

  “Nick’s not my boyfriend,” I mumble into my burger. I probably shouldn’t be eating this burger. I put on soooo much weight over the summer. It was a mistake to hang around my grandparents’ house in Wisconsin instead of going away to camp like usual.

  “Um, hello?” Chrissy rolls her eyes. “He’s obviously your boyfriend, Jessie. Everyone knows it but you.”

  I tug self-consciously on my sweater, which fit perfectly before the summer but now is way too snug. “No. I don’t think he even likes me that way.”

  “Don’t be mental.” Chrissy takes a bite of her fry, but I don’t think she’s eaten more than two fries through our whole lunch period. Chrissy never eats, which is probably how she stays so ridiculously thin and also how come so many guys are in love with her. Maybe I should give up eating too. “He so obviously is insane for you.”

  “I’m not gorgeous like you,” I remind her. “Guys don’t even ask me out.”

  Chrissy pokes me in the arm. “Yeah, why do you think that is? Because they know your Nick’s girl. They don’t want to piss him off.”

  I’ve noticed people are careful around Nick. He’s got plenty of friends and all, but in general, it’s clear kids generally treat him differently than they treat everyone else. Like, better. I don’t know if it’s because they believe the rumors about his father or what. But I’ve realized that nobody ever messes with Nick.

  Which means nobody messes with me, apparently.

  _____

  Today Nick is waiting for me in his usual place behind the football stand. He doesn’t play football, or any organized sports for that matter. But after he drops me off at home, sometimes he joins his friends at the park to play basketball. Other times, I go with him to the basketball court so I can watch. He’s good—really good—he could probably even be on the team if he wanted, but he doesn’t have any interest. I love watching him race across the court, getting all hot and sweaty. I also love the way he winks at me whenever he makes a basket.

  Nick seems to get handsomer every day. It’s ridiculous. He grew again over the summer and he’s now a good five or six inches taller than I am, and he’s lean and muscular. And of course, he still has those intense dark eyes. I see the way other girls at school look at him—girls far prettier than me—and it’s amazing to me that he hasn’t gone after any of them.

  “Jessie!” His face always lights up when he sees me. That’s something that hasn’t changed in the last year.

  “Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”

  I wonder if it’s true about Nick’s brother. Nick talks about his family, but not about stuff like that. I think he’s embarrassed that Tony gets hauled off by the cops from time to time. Even though it has nothing to do with him. Not really.

  Nick falls into step beside me. “Pop quiz in chem. Can you believe it?”

  “I told you Anderson gives pop quizzes,” I remind him. “So how did you do?”

  “I couldn’t remember the atomic number of Neon.”

  “That’s easy,” I say. “It’s ten.”

  “I didn’t know you were a chemistry genius,” Nick says as he reaches out to take my hand.

  We walk together quietly for a few minutes. That’s the thing about me and Nick—I don’t feel a constant need to fill the silence like I do with other people. I just like walking next to him, enjoying the cool fall breeze. The wind is tousling his short dark hair, making him look even sexier, if t
hat’s possible. Nick kicks at a pile of multicolored leaves as we walk by, and one flies up and gets lodged in my hair. He laughs as he picks it out for me, never letting go of my hand.

  So I’m not sure why I ruin it by saying, “Everything okay with Tony?”

  Nick’s already dark eyes turn almost black like they always do when he’s upset. He lets go of my hand and shoves his own hand in his pocket. “Yeah. Why?”

  “No reason,” I say quickly.

  He eyes my face. “Are people talking shit about Tony?”

  “No,” I say quickly. “I just heard…”

  “Heard what?”

  “That he, um…” Nick is staring at me, so I know I’ve got to ‘fess up. “That he got arrested.”

  Nick picks a branch off the ground and flings it into the air as far as he can throw it. “Well, whoever told you that is full of shit.”

  I nod. “Okay. I figured.”

  We walk in silence that’s considerably less comfortable than it was a few minutes ago. Finally, he lets out a long sigh. “Sorry, Jessie. I shouldn’t get like that… not around you.” He rakes a hand through his dark hair. “Yeah, Tony’s in jail. He can’t stop fucking up. It’s always something, ya know? Pop keeps bailing him out, and then it just happens again.”

  “Why do you think that is?” I say.

  He shakes his head. “He doesn’t think is the problem. He gets pissed off over something, then he just gotta mess the other guy up. You can’t be like that. Not if you want to be successful.”

  One thing I’ve noticed about Nick is that he’s always got his eye on the future. He’s always thinking and planning for some future career or life. Whenever he studies for an exam, he’s considering how it will impact the entire rest of his life. I can barely plan for my math test at the end of the week.

  “Anyway,” Nick says, “I don’t want to think about Tony right now.”

  “Tony who?” I tease him.

  He grins at me, and I’m relieved when he takes my hand back in his. The silence becomes comfortable again. There are days when I wish the walk home would last for two or three hours.

  Out of nowhere, Nick says, “What’s a total eclipse of the heart?”

  “Huh?” I say.

  He smiles crookedly. “You’re always singing that. ‘Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.’”

  My face gets hot. I know sometimes that I sing to myself without realizing it. I had no idea that I was doing it right now, in front of Nick—so embarrassing. “Sorry,” I mumble.

  “No, I like it.” He gives my hand a little squeeze. “I just keep wondering what a total eclipse of the heart is. Is that when all the organs of the body line up once a month so you can’t see the heart anymore?”

  “No.” I roll my eyes at him. “It means, like, that if you love someone a lot, and then they’re gone, it’s like a dark shadow on the heart.”

  “A dark shadow on the heart,” Nick repeats. “That sounds like something you ought to see a doctor for.”

  I smack him in the arm, and he laughs and slugs me back gently. We stop walking and all of a sudden, we’re just staring at each other. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I think maybe I do need to see a doctor. But before I can drop dead of a heart eclipse, Nick leans forward and lowers his lips onto mine.

  It’s my first kiss. I’d always imagined it would be like this—unexpected to the point of leaving me breathless. And for the last year, I’d imagined it would be with Nick. In my more wistful moments, I’d allowed myself to daydream about what it might be like if Nick kissed me. There would be nights when he’d kiss me in my sleep, and I’d wake up to the disappointment of knowing it was all a dream.

  But this is real. I’m pretty sure it’s real—maybe I should pinch myself to make sure. After all, the kiss is too wonderful and too perfect. Nick’s lips are too soft, his body too firm against mine. I can’t believe this is finally happening.

  Chapter 6

  Nick

  I’ve been thinking about kissing Jessie Schultz for a year.

  I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Usually when I want to do something, I either do it or don’t do it. I don’t sit around thinking about it for a whole freakin’ year. Then again, Pop always says:

  When a decision is important, think about it until you know for sure you’re doing the right thing. And then take a night to think about it.

  That’s fine when you’re talking about a business deal going down. But when it comes to a girl, it’s not fine. Lately, Kevin and the other guys have been giving me a hard time over liking Jessie for so long and never making a move.

  “What’s wrong? You chicken?” Kevin ribbed me.

  I rolled my eyes like I didn’t give a shit, but he hit the nail on the head. I been too chicken to kiss Jessie. I don’t even know why—I just got this feeling that if I made a move, something would go wrong. Also, every time I look at Jessie, my heart starts beating so fast and I can’t think straight. My IQ drops down ten points when I’m with her.

  Still. I knew I had to do something.

  So I started slow. First I started holding her hand when we walked home. She didn’t pull away or act angry, so I figured I was golden. But even so, it took me a month of that before I could work up the nerve to kiss her.

  After she brought up the Tony thing, I almost couldn’t do it. I was so pissed off at Tony for being an idiot and making Jessie think less of my family. Jessie is this beautiful girl with hair like gold and a perfect family. She don’t got a brother, but if she did, he wouldn’t’ve ever been in the joint four times, that’s for damn sure.

  But then I figured, to hell with it. I’m going to kiss her.

  And it’s every bit as good as I thought it would be. Better. I could never imagine anything as great as having Jessie’s body pressed against mine, like it is right now. I want to kiss her forever, except then I notice I’m getting a boner. Better pull away before she notices too.

  She has a weird expression on her face and I’m scared I fucked up. Maybe I messed up the timing. Kissing her right after she found out about Tony was a mistake.

  “Okay, so,” I say, “let’s go home.”

  Jessie blinks at me a few times but she follows me the way she always does. Back when I first started walking her, she really had to follow me—she didn’t know how to get home from school on her own. I remember how I came across her with those assholes—I still get steamed thinking what they might have done to her if I hadn’t come along. But unlike Tony, I don’t start punching just because I’m pissed off.

  We stop a block before her building like we always do. I got this feeling that her parents might not approve of me sniffing around their daughter, so I always hang back. Her mom knows I walk her home though, and she’s been real nice to me when I’ve run into her around town. It’s the father I’m worried about.

  “Bye, Nick,” Jessie says.

  “Bye, Jessie,” I say.

  The wind is blowing her golden hair everywhere. I like her so much, it makes my legs weak sometimes. I can’t even tell if she liked kissing me. I don’t know if I should do it again or what? I can’t ask her. I know that much.

  Then Jessie stands on her toes and lifts her chin up in my direction, tilting her face toward mine. For the second time today and ever, I kiss her. And it’s just as good as last time.

  If I live to a hundred, I will never get sick of kissing Jessie Schultz.

  Chapter 7

  Jessie

  I feel like I’m floating.

  I can’t stop thinking about kissing Nick. I can’t stop thinking about his lips pressed against mine, his hot breath, his warm body. He’s the most handsome boy I’ve ever met. I’ll fall asleep dreaming about him, except this time it will be real.

  Mom knows right away. I help her set the table for dinner and I can’t stop singing, although this time I’m not singing about total eclipses of the heart. There’s no dark shadow on my heart right now. Mom watches me placing
three napkins on our tiny dining table, followed by a knife, fork, and spoon. She waits until I’ve distributed the last of the utensils before she remarks, “Nick finally kissed you, did he?”

  My cheeks get hot, and I look down, adjusting the position of the knife and fork in front of me. Before she can grill me further, I hear my father’s heavy footsteps as he walks into the room and my stomach folds into a knot. Mom gets quiet too.

  Daddy is tall and broad, with the same blond hair and blue eyes as me on a heavily tanned face. He doesn’t talk much, and most of what he says is complaining. The second he comes home from work, he starts in on my mother. And when Daddy yells, his whole face turns bright red. Like a tomato.

  Nancy, why is the meatloaf taking so long?

  Nancy, why didn’t you get more beer for my poker game tonight?

  Nancy, you need to lose some weight. Another ten pounds and they’ll put you in the zoo with the hippos!

  Mom takes it all without talking back. For the most part, my father’s ranting is harmless. He just likes running his mouth off. I know from experience that it’s a mistake to talk back. Especially if he’s been drinking.

  This term, I’ve been doing badly in French. I don’t know why Daddy cares how I do in French—it’s not like I’ve ever met a French person in my whole life or ever will. It’s even more useless than geometry class. But Daddy got it in his head that it’s important, so now he keeps bringing it up—how I’ve got to study harder and do better. I just nod and promise I’ll try harder. If I tell him what he wants to hear, he leave me alone.

  “What am I hearing about this Nick kid?” Daddy barks at me. When I don’t say anything, he narrows his eyes at me. “Is this Nick Moretti?”

  The fact that he knows Nick’s last name can’t possibly be good.

  “Nancy!” Daddy snaps at Mom, when nobody answers him. “Is she talking about Nick Moretti?”

  Mom nods, not meeting his eyes.